now i know what to do batter now .. my ex tell me something he said " good or bad also have to past one day , y not have a good day " so i have to make my day good .

what is love .. why i love him so much he don't love me anymore ... what i have to do . should i let go . but y said start everything over but u can't do it ?why ?

what am i now ???

one day by one day
only know work & drank
what am i now
i can't take it
where my love & care

u know today my lungs can not take it .
have to puff .. sad but no one care .

2day never draft any dairy .. because to sad to draft .don't know want to said .let see what happen .tell u something cute . yester a drank man come in.. when i so sad and angry .that stupid man said want to sev the hp so we give a no. that he walk away a min later he came back with a motorola hp throw at me .. keep on telling me to call his fri . and i keep on said i do not know your fri . he said ' i ask u call ' i said 'I DO NOT KNOW YOUR FRI' he said ' ask u call u call ' . that i said ' CALL WHAT' he said "i give u the no" and i call for him . that he walk away . when the no is there he set down with a beer on the table . ( what is he doing ) ...

i so sad .. i do not know what he want .. and i in the wrong ?what he want i don't know at all .i keep on asking him . but no ans . he only said want to be alone . what is this .. the thing that hurt me is the word that he said .. 1: i ask how long he need to take to be alone . he said .. when one day he come to me that he ok.. ( what is this .. )2:he said no one can stop him from what he want to do . .. sad sad till i don't know how to said . ( can not cry out to let anyone know everyday have to show a happy face. ) can not take it anymore ...

Yesterday i when to MOS with my fri to drink ... guess what happen !! when i at the dance floor with my girl fri there r 2-3 group of people looking at me and her . (but there don't take to her!!! she so sad) when i dance ..hehehe 1 group come over to dance with as but i don't care about that i hug my gril fri to dance .. that the 2 group come over when the 1 group was there . there look at each other but i don't care.. and the 2 group talk to as ask me how old am i .. i said 40..hehehe and i ask how old do i look like he said 19-20 .. one off tham tell my fri he only 20 .. what a small boy want to know me !! tham i don't care about tham we go back to drank .. and the other group look like 40year old come over to our table ..i look so sad .. so old want to know as .. sad . than one of my fri saw this fri .. he give me a "ICE" n want to know me .. my poor girl she so angry no one want to know her ( but she only 19year old) when is time to go back (about 3+) she do not want to go back .. so we go dance till 4+ when i can't take it i tell her i will o back and she can be with my fri .. ( MOS day) .. hehehe

today i go see doc ..i have a 2 day mc . the doc said if i don't take care i have to go hospital .how...

today i can't take it anymore i cry out when i was on my way home.i call my good friend when on my way back home to tell him everything .. about the sad i have .

NO off day so sad i have to work for 8day that off 1 day every 8 day work that off 1 day i going mad .. and everyday have to work ot . WHAT AND I ?????

Today is a bad day ... i runing all about to do everything eg: see 'hot cust' , plan meal time , open sr ,loan hp ,and alot ... when can i rest??? one day got 24h i use about 15h to work 5-7h to sleep 1-2 h to see my mail .. all use up.. when i have time to go holiday with day .